coming unglued, going crazy, turning mean and angry

heading into a very ugly me

attempting to get help

so thing feel as though they are coming to an end.  i hate it, this summer was fine, i got used to being alone.  i actually enjoyed it a bit.  but then, bam, someone comes along at the worst time, when i'm leaving and thus the relationship is doomed. 

i'm trying to put up a fight, but be realistic at the same time, and it's ripping me in half.  this weekend will be a defining one.  so we shall see.

i don't want to be alone again.  i'm already too alone out here.

Sarah

i hate this fucking country.  people are so goddamn ignorant.

today congress decided to revoke all of the gay marraiges that took place in san fransisco 6 mother fucking months ago. 

go figure these are the same people that want to keep bush in office. 

it's the end of the fucking world, and christians will be the death of us all, if not physically, they will kill us with stupidity and ignorance.

god save us

sarah

well, i started my new temp job at the school today.  i sit and be office bitch, hehe.  but hey, i'm getting to know everyone on the faculty so ha! unfair advantage slapped in your face!  hehehe, sorry, i'm in a weird mood.  kinda anxious for the weekend  but cannot disclose any information about it yet.  picked up my books for classes today, too.  4 10lbs books.  yay.  i'm gonna have class on tues and thurs from 7:30am to 4:00pm.  and 7:30am to 11:30am on saturdays.  doesn't that just eat cock.  haha, but oh well, it will be good work time.  and i can get my life back on to a normal track.  i miss Ryan a lot.  but it's okay.  things are going well.

okay, that's all.

love, Sarah

where do i start?  well, the day after i wrote that last weblog, i reconnected with a b/f from 4 years ago whom i haven't seen or talked to in 4 years.  it was amazing, we've both changed so much and it's like being given a second chance at something that just happened at the wrong time.  but yeah, then i moved.    but it's going alright.  we decided to stay just friends, no commitments while we're apart, and that we will tell eachother about other sexual partners if we are to have sex again.  it's painful, but working okay.  we've been talking everyday. 

he's kept my sanity for me, by calling.  i don't know anyone, don't have a job yet, and don't start school for another two weeks.  not used to being so alone.  smoking cigs and my other choice have helped a lot.  i pass the time by sleeping or watching movies.

i register for classes and find a job tomorrow.  hopefully i'll be able to be a cashier at Home Depot getting $11 and hour.  that will be nice.  and i have a better chance at getting hired cuz they work w/ my school.

uh, not much new, i just got the internet setup disc in the mail today, thus why i'll waste several hours catching up on the last week and a half w/o it.  hehe.  i'm such a geek.

love, Sarah